Image source: http://www.keithedwards.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/External-Expectations.jpg
I believe it's safe to say that very few of us have received any formal training in sexual matters. Let's face it, the subject of sex is one in which the majority of people appear to be unpardonably ignorant. The sexual urge has been grossly misunderstood and slandered by both the uninformed and the evil minded. If you think about it, much of what we have learned about sex has come to us from parents, teachers, religious leaders, unknowing family and friends, or from pornography, movies, the street, and the marketplace --- dubious sources at best. To put it bluntly, too many of us still believe the bullshit we were taught.
Men, in particular, have been burdened with several erroneous assumptions regarding sexual behavior. Perhaps the most destructive myth is that male ejaculation is the highest expression of male sexual power and virility. Nothing could be further from the truth. In the world of esoteric sexuality it has been well established that, unlike women, men lose vital energy when they ejaculate. According to the ancient Chinese sages, who were renown for their remarkable understanding of the human subtle energy system, men routinely shorten their lives with their tendency to squander sexual energy by ejaculating indiscriminately. This destructive sexual behavior pattern is thought to be the untold reason that men generally do not live as long as women. After all, most "untrained" men continue to sexually deplete themselves with countless ejaculations throughout their lives.
The Chinese observed long ago that when a man's vital energy reserves are drained he tends to feel small like he has lost a piece of himself. With energy loss creativity suffers, vitality plummets, and a man's sense of fulfillment is diminished. The ancient Chinese sexologists viewed semen as life giving and life sustaining. One drop of semen was considered to be equal in power to one hundred drops of blood. If this is truly so, each time a man ejaculates, he suffers a loss of energy on par with donating blood. If this were a sometimes thing, it might not be very significant, but the average American male ejaculates about 5000 times in his lifetime. This equates to roughly four gallons of potent seminal fluid. The message for conscious men is simple: intelligent sexual behavior merits a thoughtful and individualized seminal conservation program.
Some men recoil in horror when they first hear about non-ejaculatory sex. After all, it thoroughly goes against their conditioning. The prevailing fear is that by not climaxing they would be sacrificing sexual pleasure for some abstract health or spiritual benefit. Many of these men have a hard time accepting the premise of dynamic sex without a climax. They may think, "Not ejaculating during sex is like working without compensation. There's no payoff." Let me set the record straight. In no way does seminal retention involve pleasure deprivation. On the contrary, seminal retention heightens and amplifies pleasure beyond anything that the chronically ejaculating male gets to experience in sex.
In order to understand why this is so, it is important to understand the distinction between male ejaculation and orgasm, though most men erroneously think of them as one and the same. After all, from their earliest sexual explorations, ejaculation and orgasm have always occurred simultaneously. For many men, hearing that they can be experienced separately is a mind-blowing, belief shattering concept. Nevertheless, the truth is that ejaculation and orgasm are two distinct physical processes, and it is very beneficial for a man to learn how to separate them out from each other. Success requires nothing more than the timely use of strong, internal, muscular contractions similar to the ones we already employ when squeezing out the last drop after urinating.
The benefits of seminal retention are numerous. For starters, it contributes to maintaining a youthful, vigorous, healthy, body with high energy levels, clarity of mind, and increased sexual potency. Seminal retention was developed to reconcile female sexual satisfaction with male well-being. It not only leads to prolonged intercourse that may enhance both partners pleasure, but by retaining semen a man prevents the energy loss that is so prevalent in conventional sex. Lovers can enjoy making love more often, for extended periods, and resume as often as they would like without short-circuiting the journey of heightened arousal. Working together as partners with the common intention of delaying, or preventing, male ejaculation until the optimum moment for release arrives serves to keep the sexual desire for each other at a fever pitch. Feelings of erotic intensity, excitement, and intimacy typically go beyond anything you may have previously experienced.
No matter how intensely pleasurable it may be, male ejaculation is nothing more than a spasm of delight lasting only a few brief moments. It is a local release confined entirely to the genitals and the muscles of the pelvis. A release is a negative phenomenon --- you simply lose vital energy.
Orgasm is a totally different animal. Orgasm is rejuvenating and restorative. It impacts the entire body, mind, and spirit. Unlike ejaculation, orgasms may be repeated again and again for an hour, or more, without any sense of depletion. Once a man learns to savor and extend the journey of arousal by withholding his discharge, it can provide him with a lift-off that is designed to propel him into ecstatic states of higher consciousness. By refraining from genital release men can learn to substitute orgasm(s) for ejaculation. Once this skill is mastered, the habitual male sexual routine of ejaculating with every orgasm will be seen for what it is --- sheer lunacy.
Male ejaculation is far from the peak experience that we have been led to believe it is. Calling it the "climax of pleasure" is really just a bad habit left over from early programming. As men, we only experience sexual pleasure until we ejaculate. Thereafter, we enter a less than thrilling refractory phase when our erectile capacity is diminished and the penis does not respond well to additional stimulation. If you are perceptive, you may have noticed that a man's emission is often accompanied by a post-ejaculatory letdown that tends to sabotage the close emotional bond that lovemaking induces and that women find so appealing. The sleepiness that many men experience after their climax is a sure sign of energy loss. Typically, after ejaculating a man's mood reflects a subtle but noticeable flatness that colors his overall emotional tone. However, for some men the symptoms are more extreme. Loss of sexual desire, irritability, moodiness, indifference, and emotional withdrawal are fairly common. Some men even get up, get dressed, and abandon their partners after climaxing. Have you ever heard of a woman doing that?
While the ordinary man believes that arousal demands release, truly accomplished male lovers learn to savor and extend the escalating build-up of arousal by withholding ejaculation. Remember, stopping your genital release must not be confused with stopping orgasm. Trained male lovers understand that the true function of orgasm, beyond mere pleasure, is to provide an ecstatic vehicle that propels us into higher states of consciousness.
Now is the time for the men on this planet to begin to see their sexual behavior in a vastly different light. With a slight shift in consciousness, any man with the proper training can begin the process of sexual energy cultivation --- the road map to greater self-esteem, self-empowerment, higher consciousness, and spiritual evolution.
Author's Bio:
Victor Gold is a holistic health educator specializing in erotic spirituality. He is the author of "The Potency Principles: Transforming Sexual Energy into Spiritual Power." He has a private practice offering tantric instruction and sexual healing in San Rafael, California. His website is www.sexualhealingnow.com
